A close friend after many rounds of spirited conversation asked for an advice. I am now old enough to realize that I, for that matter a lot of us, do not deserve to be asked for an advice. But turning down a request, that too from a close friend is a very impolite behavior. Add to it the series of dark sweet rum that had further mellowed me down so I tabled my offer that I would be very thoughtful and would try to do as best as I can, after I dutifully and patiently listen to his case.
Not that he needed me to do all this, to really put his case but it often helps.
As I began to listen to his calm rendition of the problem statement, I could see myself talking through him, for a moment it seemed as if the Satan is asking me this question through him and I need to solve it (or resolve it) myself. I pinched myself to check whether I had more Rum than necessary. May be, I am going with some kind of visualization disorder but it was not as bad. After surveying, discreetly, I fell back on my drama skills to ensure that I am signed-in. I didn’t need to read and listen this question too well because it was as much true to my situation as him. It could have been a reverse case as well where the narrator becomes the protagonist. He carried on, ensuring that he gives me enough context, which I never needed, ensuring that he doesn’t hurry up, which I never needed, ensuring that he throws enough pauses so that I can assimilate, which I never needed. My mind started to work out the response and I completely tuned out.
By the time he finished, I had meticulously thought of a brilliant response, almost akin to a standing ovation piece. With growing confidence, I was in no hurry to let my secret beans out, I knew before hand that I have got something in my arsenal which can not be challenged. So with a great display of serene and insightful state, I quietly continued to finish more Rum while my over active mind was iteratively going through the response and was refining it with each round. I had done almost 5 rehearsals before I got a chance to put my performance and boy what a performance it was.
With great articulation, in a single stroke of mastery, I spit out words of wisdom one after the another. After winning him by a brilliant demonstration of philosophical garbage, I paraphrased the fundamental value of life and how one needs to get out of situation like these by focusing on basic things around relationships and so on. In no time, I concluded my great gyan and we were out of the mess.
The truth is that whatever I said is what I believe ideally one can do (including myself) but those were not at all practical day-to-day suggestions that could really make a real difference (w/ or w/o the dark sweet drink). If it was so easy, I would have solved it (or resolved it) myself.
I still think that my response makes a lot of sense but I have not been able to live them myself. Instead, Should you just tell your friends that , dude I am in the same boat.